Take a profound, persistent, and resistant problem, and outsource its solution. That’s a surefire route to failure. But we do it all the time. Here’s what I mean by “outsourcing a solution.” We throw everything we can at the problem, except the ingredients that really matter: our own time, attention, and leadership.

Of course, some problems are outsourced because they are fundamentally unimportant. My father’s been known to quip, “If a thing is not worth doing at all, then it’s certainly not worth doing well.” But other times, the problem is a burning platform--serious and urgent with a lot at stake. And yet, even in these cases, I’ve seen leaders eviscerate otherwise robust solutions by removing themselves from any active role in their implementation. They’ve been unwilling to invest their own time and without it, the solution is sure to fail.

The bottom line: There are some things you can’t outsource. You can’t outsource your diet or exercise. You can’t outsource your marriage. And you can’t outsource your leadership.

So, what’s the solution? I’ll steal a phrase from Diego Rodriguez, a professor at Stanford’s d.School and a partner in the design firm, IDEO. You need a “strategy that makes your hands bleed.” Diego uses this phrase to encourage prototyping and testing over navel gazing. He wants designers to commit hands-on design.

In chapter 3 of our book, Influencer, we show how to “change the way you change minds.”  Most of us use verbal persuasion far too often. But those who create a personal experience, one that makes others' hands bleed, ignite profound impact.

If you want a senior team, your own team, or maybe your brother-in-law to share your passion for a problem, bring them face-to-face with a victim or survivor. Create a hands-on role for them. If you can make their hands bleed, it will change their heart.

Don Berwick, the founder and director of the Institute for Healthcare Improvement, uses this approach with senior leaders and physicians. He wants them to understand and share his passion for patient safety, so he has them meet with a patient who’s been injured in their hospital. He asks them to interview the patient, the family, and the employees involved in the incident. And they’re not allowed to delegate. These leaders become more than convinced. They become champions--passionate advocates with the will required to drive profound change for years to come.

In our consulting work, we always create hands-on roles for leaders. For example, instead of providing them with needs assessments and recommendations, we have them get face-to-face with angry customers and frustrated employees. They lead their own needs assessments. And, in the process, they bloody their hands, they put skin in the game, and they give it their heart.

The next time you need someone to get serious about a problem—to invest their personal time instead of outsourcing it—ask yourself how to create a personal experience for them. Review chapter 3, where we offer several ideas, then create your own. Get your hands dirty. Once you’ve seen the power of personal experience, you’ll never go back to verbal persuasion again.